Why not yell at the kids – how to improve the situation?
Why not yell at the kids and what to do if it happened?
Quite often to achieve the desired result, adults start to raise the voice of children. And worst of all, this can afford not only parents, but educators in kindergarten. school teachers and even ordinary people on the street. But the cry is the first sign of weakness. And shouting at the people making things worse for not only themselves but also the baby. Today we want to tell you why children do not scream, and how to behave if it happened.
Why not — convincing arguments
All parents will probably agree that to raise a child and it never raise it's voice is a very hard task. But, nevertheless, children need to scream as much as possible. And this is a number of simple reasons :
- The cry of a mom or dad only increases irritability and anger baby . He and the parents begin to get angry, in the end, both quite difficult to stop. And this could result in a broken child's mind. In the future it will be very difficult to find a common language with adults
- Your hysterical screaming is so much to frighten a child . he starts to stutter. After raising the voice at the child acts a bit differently than an adult. This not only gives him to understand that he is doing something wrong, but also very scary
- The cries of the parents that cause the child the feeling of fear, will cause the baby to hide from the expression of their emotions . As a result, in adult life it can cause severe aggression and unjustified cruelty
- Children and in the presence of children not to scream because at this age InAsha demeanor they absorb like a sponge . And when they grow up they same way they behave with you and other people.
Of the above reasons you can easily conclude the following: if you wish your children good health and good fortune, try a little to restrain their emotions . and not to raise voice at their children.
How to behave, if You yelled at a child?
Remember — it is important not only to raise the voice of the child, but Your future behavior, if You still did it. Most of all, mother, after yelling at the kid, giving him the cold shoulder for several minutes. And this is absolutely wrong, because it is at this point the child very much needs your support and affection.
If you raised your voice to child psychologists recommend to do the following :
- If you snapped at the kid, yelled at him, take it on hands, try to calm tender words and gentle pats on the back
- If you were wrong, necessarily admit your guilt . tell me that didn't want to do, and more so to do will not
- If the child was wrong, then be prettycareful with caresses . in the future, the baby can start to use it
- Having shouted at the child for the cause, try not to show too much foreplay . after all, the kid needs to realize his guilt, which would in the future not to do that
- But in situations where you just can't help myself not to raise my voice neededindividual approach . In such situations, experienced moms recommend the use of facial expressions. For example, if a kid something is "done", make a sad face, frown with your eyebrows and explain to him that you can't do it. So you keep the nervous system of the child and will be able to control your negative emotions
- At once to raise the child voice, try spend more time with him . Therefore, your communication with him will grow, and your favorite child will have to listen more
- If there's nothing you can do about it, instead of yelling use screaming animals . pochakaite, paracite, crowed, etc. This is especially helpful in cases where the reason for the raising of the voice is you. Several times poruka in public, you will no longer have the desire to yell at the child.
In his quest to be the perfect mother, affectionate, tolerant and with a balanced character, don't forget about yourself. In your schedule, make time for yourself. Because the lack of attention and other needs, provokes neurosis, resulting in you starting to fall not only on children but also on other family members.
What to do and how to behave?
Yelling at your child, I have always done so, said, " Yes, I got angry and yelled at you, but it's all because ..." And explained why. And then she always added that, despite this, I LOVE him very much.
If the conflict has occurred for the cause, be sure to explain to the child what is his fault, and that this can not be done. In general, try not to yell, but if you are nervous, drink more valerian.
The scream is the last thing, especially if the child is small, because they still do not understand a lot. Just try to repeat several times to your child that you can not do, and he will start to listen to your words.
And I never shout at the child. If nerves are frayed, go out on the balcony or in another room, and shout loudly, that would be to release steam. Help )))
Totally agree that if you are being punished for something (even verbal) child, you do not need it to take the pen and show excessive affection, because he still needs to realize that something can not be done. Although I, too, sometimes, when you shout to the child, and he's still not calming down, wants something forbidden, — Willy-nilly sorry for the daughter, even on the tit can give, although I understand the need to be sustainable in their statements: either allow, or is no longer.
But too shout is never needed and not just for the child, and in General in the presence of a child. It acts powerfully on the psyche of the kid, and the negative. And not only that is the reason why you can't scream, and that then the child will understand that other times shouting, then he can, and he will be able to succeed. The children understand.
In our family grandma yells at my daughter and most importantly not even apologize later. It was not a single case, and is already starting to annoy me. Promise again that I will move out to another apartment, to the child's psyche not to break, it is not impossible. If I shout (not as much as grandma), then verbally explain why it failed and who is to blame. And so I try calmly to tell at once that it is impossible working together to find a compromise.
I rarely yell at the child, but it happens. She is so frightened, that I calmly talk to her. If I shout at her daughter gets scared and starts to cry: mom doesn't swear. I feel sorry for her and I become her hugs and kisses. Now she enjoys it to the fullest. I even her comments can not do, she immediately burst into tears. What to do?