When and how to tell a child about sex – tips and recommendations
Talking with your child about sex — what to say and what is not?
Sooner or later, every child approaches his parents with the question: "Where did I come from?". And even modern moms and dads, this question quite often confounds. So today we decided to tell you about how to properly prepare for this delicate conversation, which is better to say - a fairy tale or the truth.
That and how to tell a child about sex?
There three periods in a child's life . when he begins to ask questions about sex, or parents should raise this delicate topic themselves:
- For the first time children ask the question "How did I born?" somewhere at the age of 4-5 years. Most famous psychologists recommend not to write stories about the stork or the cabbage store . It is better to tell the truth right away. After all, if you do not do this yourself, then he will address this same question to older comrades in the yard. And their response can cause the baby such reactions as unhealthy interest in the structure of his body and the body of adults, or for example, will receive a heavy moral trauma, which can greatly affect his adult life.
Therefore, it is better to tell at once that in the beginning he was small, like a pea. He lived in his mother's tummy, where he gradually grew and developed: from a pea he grew to a small testicle, then turned into a small fish, then into a cute dinosaur, then he looked like a small kitten, and was born a small man ...
- Getting a plausible answer to the question "Where did I come from?", most often the child forgets about this topic somewhere before 7-8 years. Beginning to go to school, often with the submission of high school students, the children again begin to have questions. And again, parents do not need to fall into a stupor. Now quite a lotchildren's literature . where described in this topic. Just not worth it, blushing, shove the book in a prominent place, and help your child correctly learn the material . give the mitigating answers to all delicate questions.
- Next, the most difficult age when parents need to raise the topic of sex is teen. Your child is already grown, and it is quite possible to tell briefly the physiological side of the process . Just be sure to draw his attention that the coming together of bodies can only be started when there is a convergence of the shower, the feeling of love . Girls need to explain that too early a sex life and numerous connections can deprive her of the future of maternity happiness. As the child develops, parents shouldcontraception . On average, adolescents become sexually active at 14-15 years, and it can end an unwanted pregnancy.
Which is not to say the rules for smart parents
- During your story you no need to blush, be embarrassed and shrink, otherwise the child may get the impression that his appearance in this world, in particular, and the close relations between women and men, is something forbidden and not good. All his questions should be answered confidently and calmly;
- Do not force the child conversation on this delicate subject. Just honest and very clear answer all questions as they arise. In this case do not have to go into all the intimate details ;
- No need to postpone this conversation until a more appropriate time, and to shame the child phrase "And where did you hear that?"
- Don't make sex some kind of sacred act or ritual secret . do not force the child too much information. And do not check . how well your child has learned your counsel.
When should I start the conversation?
Many parents believe that the conversation on this delicate subject should begin only when the child himself starts asking questions. In fact the proper education of sexual culture children should begin almost from the very birth.
After all, a child learns about intimacy not in the moment when it begins to ask questions. And then, when I see mom hugging dad when parents kiss. Parents don't have to hide our attraction to each other and the symptoms of their feelings from children. It's no wonder people say: "the Best thing a father can give his children is love their mother."
Talking with a child about sex is scary only the first time. And when the parents confessed and saw that the contact took place, and the child understood and accepted the information, the conversations about the topic of sex are only specifying.
Recommendations and advice from experienced parents
When her daughter started asking questions about sex, she was 6.5 years old. We went to the store and bought her a children's book, I do not remember the exact name. But I know for sure that there are plenty of them in bookstores. We began to read it together with her. The book was boring. We hardly read it, and my daughter did not raise this issue any more. It seems to me that the more boring and boring you tell, the less interesting and forbidden it seems to be.
When my son approached me with this question, I asked him what he knew about it. After all, he often communicates with peers and older children in the yard and at school. He told me his version (it turned out that he was already quite enlightened), and I needed only to correct it and confirm it.
I'm the teenage girl's mom. My husband and I understand perfectly well that at this age many children themselves can educate their parents about sex. Therefore, we decided to talk with my daughter about this topic. We told her that it is possible to do this with the boy whom you love, and he responds to you in return. And in no case do you need to do this just because "everyone has already, but I do not."
Children about sex need to be told according to their age. In the beginning, about how they appeared, then about physiology, and when children have matured enough - about contraception.