How to tell your parents you are pregnant – tips for girls
"Mom, I'm pregnant" — how to tell parents about a teenage pregnancy?
The candy-bouquet period suddenly ended with a positive pregnancy test. And up to adulthood still - oh, how far! And my mother is a just man, but a harsh man. And about the Pope and do not have to say: he learns - he will not pat his head.
How to be? Tell the truth and be, what will happen? Lying? Or ... No, it's scary to think about abortion.
Before a serious conversation with his parents – where and to whom can turn a teenager on the issue of pregnancy?
First of all, don't panic! The first task make sure that the pregnancy is indeed the case .
How can I find out?
There are very early signs of pregnancy. which must be taken into account.
Contact your gynecologist at the place of residence.
If the doctor is "adult" does not accept addressthe gynecologist for Teens . Such a doctor must take in the women's consultation without fail.
- If you go to the advice scary — looking for an alternative method of diagnosis. It is possible to pass (and at the same time to remain anonymous) in special clinics for adolescents who are in all the major cities.
- I'm afraid that the doctor will call your mom. Do not worry. If you're over 15-years old, according to the Federal law№323 "On the fundamentals of protection of citizens 'health", the physician may inform your parents about your visit solely with your consent.
- The diagnosis is simple — you're expecting? And I'm afraid to tell my parents? Do not rush to a whirlpool with a head. First, talk to someone you trust — with a close relative with a family member who you can trust, with the child's father (if he is already "ripe" to make the right decisions), in the extreme case — with a teenage psychologist.
- Not crazy, I take myself in hand! Nervous you are now not supposed to — it's bad for you and affects the development of the baby.
- Remember, a good doctor will not require the presence of your mother, to shame you. to present any claims and lecturing. If you get that turn around and leave. Search for "their" doctor. "Your" doctor, of course, will not perform serious procedures without parental consent, but it will help with diagnosis and will prepare you for conversation with parents and, at the same time, will give the necessary information to make independent decisions already.
- No one can force you to take any decision. It is solely your business, your destiny, your answer to the question "how?". Carefully weigh each "for" and each "against" listen to all, whom you trust, and only then draw conclusions. To the parents you have to come with already agreed.
- Anyone who can influence your decision, press. to persuade one or other of the act immediately excludes from the number of advisers and "experts."
- If you with the future Pope decided to keep the baby. then, of course, without the support of parents will be difficult. So the best option is to find an understanding of their (and his) parents. But even if such support is not forthcoming, do not worry. You'll learn and will cope with everything, and definitely on your way you will meet people who will help, will prompt and will direct. Note: if you are a believer, you can ask for help in the temple, to the priest. There surely will help.
Variants of development of events after talking with parents – are working on all situations
It is clear that having heard from a teenager "Mom, I'm pregnant", parents will not enthusiastically jump, congratulate and clap their hands. For any parents, even the most loving, it's a shock. Therefore, the options for the development of events can be different and not always predictable.
- Dad, frowning, silent and pacing in his kitchen. Mom locked up in her room and cries. What to do? To reassure parents, to announce its decision, explain that you understand the seriousness of the situation, but to change the decision of not going. And to add that you will be grateful, if they will support you. It's their future grandchild.
- Mom scares the neighbors with shouts and promises to strangle you. Dad, roll up the sleeves, silently tightens the belt. The best option is to leave and find somewhere to wait out the "storm". Before leaving do not forget to inform them of his decision to give them time to get used to it. Well, if you have the opportunity to go to dad your kid to grandma's, or, at worst, to friends.
- Mom and dad threatened to find "the reptile" (father of the child) and to separate the feet, hands and other body parts. In this case, ideally, when dad, your miracle inside is aware of its responsibility and is willing to be with you until the end. And even better, if parents have moral support and promised their assistance. Together you will cope with this situation. Parents, of course, you need to calm down and explain that everything was consensual and you both understand what you are doing. If the Pope steadfastly requires "the name and address of a scoundrel" in any case, do not give it away until my parents calm down. In a state of "passion" frustrated moms and dads often do a lot of stupid things — give them time to recover. What if the parents don't approve of your choice and they don't like the groom?
- Parents adamantly insist on abortion. Remember: neither mom nor dad have no right to decide for you! Even if you think they are right, and you are excruciated with feeling of shame — don't listen to anybody. Abortion is not just a serious step, which you can then to regret and health problems that await you in the future. Often women who in youth or youth make such a choice, after just could not get pregnant. Of course, it will be difficult at first, but then you will be young and happy mother and adorable toddler. But the experience, the resources and everything else will follow by itself, it will come with time. The decision is yours!
When a teenage girl to inform her parents about the pregnancy – choose the right moment
Exactly how and when to tell your parents — depends on the situation. One the parents can declare the pregnancy immediately and boldly, others better informed on safe distance, has already changed his name and, just in case, locked all the locks.
Therefore, the decision here will also have to be made independently.
- Decide for yourselves — are you ready for adult life, to be a mother? To the fact that you have to work to combine motherhood with study, the change of carefree hanging out with friends at a very difficult parent routine. The child is not a temporary test of strength. It has forever. This is a responsibility that you assume for the fate of this tiny man. When deciding, don't forget about the possible consequences of abortion.
- If your partner is your support? Does he understand responsibility? Whether you believe in him?
- News for parents to be in any way a surprise, but if you already have a clear plan of action . and you are quite carefully and deliberately thought out his half at least the next couple of years is you. In the eyes of the parents you will look grown up and serious, independently responsible for their actions.
- Don't talk with parents in a raised voice or in the form of an ultimatum (after all, for them it is really shocking news). Wait for the right moment and confidently said about his decision. Blooded and seasoned than you report the news and their plans for the future, the more chances that everything will go well.
- The affair ended in a scandal? And the parents absolutely do not want to help you? Do not worry. It's not a disaster. Now your task — to build with your partner strong and friendly family. Only your domestic happiness would be the best evidence for parents that they are wrong. But with time things will get better. Do not believe those who talk about "the statistics of teen pregnancies," about a disintegrating early marriages, etc. There are many examples of perfectly happy marriages with teenagers. And even more happy children born in such marriages. It all depends on you.
How to tell mom and dad that she was pregnant – all the "soft" options
Do not know how to gently inform parents that they will soon have a grandson? Your attention - the most popular options, already successfully "tested" by young moms.
- "Dear mom and dad, soon you will be grandma and grandpa." The easiest option is softer than "I'm pregnant". And doubly softer, if you think about it with his partner.
- First — mom's ear. Then, discuss the details with your mom, tell dad. With mom's support it will be easier to make.
- Send email/MMS message with the pregnancy test result.
- Wait until the tummy will already be visible. and parents will understand all by yourself.
- "Mom, I'm a little bit pregnant." Why "little"? And just a small period!
- Send mom and dad a postcard in the mail. back to back with any holiday — "happy holidays, grandma and grandpa!".
And another recommendation for the road. Mom — as you know, the dearest person in the world. Don't be afraid to tell her the truth!
Of course, her first reaction can be ambiguous. But my mother must "get away from shock", understand and support you.
Has your family life similar situation? And as you were getting out? Share your stories in the comments below!
A girl friend (16 years old) gave birth in the spring, by the autumn she had already gone to school. With the karapuzom while sitting young dad. Mom said at once. Together with the guy came to my mom and immediately reported. Mom clapped her eyes, kissed Corvalole and left the house. I returned after 3 hours with 2 packages of toys, toys and vitamins for my daughter. Cool mom. Everyone would be like that.
I was 15 when I got pregnant. Mom didn't say anything, she understood when I toxicity to start. All together offered an abortion. Even the doctor insisted. I'm, of course, did not go, instead, got a job. Getting a passport along with 1st salary. It was hard. Very. Not helped, in principle, no. Dad (he lived separately), I generally said about the granddaughter, when the child was six months. Just sent him an email with a greeting — happy birthday, and pasted a picture of daughter. He didn't at first, and then very happy. Sorry, he was away, could not help. When my daughter was a year, I left home and life began all alone. No matter what, her daughter was raised to his feet. She's smart. Now school has finished. I am proud of her. Don't be afraid, girls. Everything can be overcome. There are no hopeless situations. Parents say, of course, terrible, but this is your baby. And only you can decide.
Nuts are those mothers that drag daughters to an abortion. Or yelling. Or they beat the mops (and it happens). If the child came to you with this news, no matter how hard it is - support! After all, this girl is doubly harder than you. By myself I know. And you girls, listen only to your heart! This miracle is more precious than anything in the world. And most importantly. And the mother and her father will get used to it. Will not go anywhere.
If there is a risk that parents will react rigidly, it is better to report already at 13-14 weeks. When it's too late to drag to an abortion. If, of course, the girl herself is sure that she wants to give birth. In general, I think that it's cool! I have a girlfriend, she is now 34 years old, she gave birth at the age of 16. My daughter - 18 already. They are with her daughter's daughter - do not spill water. Very harmonious relationship in the family. And the girlfriend herself looks young very, by the way. They look like sisters together. Life was not spoiled, my parents were not enthusiastic (my friend raised her daughter, and even in those times when the 16-year-old "woman in childbirth" was condemned in society - it's hard), but she overcame everything, clever girl. I look now at them and I regret that I made the abortion myself in my youth.
An adult becomes a person not when the "marriage has grown", but when a person is able to take responsibility for another. A friend of a girl got pregnant at 16, immediately went to work, she found a place to live. Then I worked at home (while the little girl was small). Nahlebalas naturally in full, as any single mom (the boy immediately faded), but all stoically withstood. Friends helped, her grandmother helped (with parents still does not communicate). Recently met a man, he adopted a child, live happily. The main thing is to understand that you can endure everything.