I'm sure many of you know the statement: if you can't change the situation — change your attitude. Of course, in the case of any global personal disaster such an approach could not be saved, but in many everyday situations it will save you a lot of nerves. This technique is called reframing.

Reframing is a term that comes to us from NLP, it is derived from the English verb to reframe. Frame is frame, and to reframe is to place the picture or photo in a new frame. To better understand what reframing is, let's look at an example from a well-known series of books about Harry Potter.

In the third book Professor Lupin taught children to cope with a boggart — a creature, embodying in itself the most terrible fear of man. To defeat the boggart, you had "monster to turn into ridicule" — submit your own funny and harmless. For example, one of the students presented a harsh Professor Snape dressed as his grandmother. And so it works reframing: seeing your fear in a different light, man ceases to be afraid of .

By the way, reframing can really use to combat various kinds of phobias (although it does not guarantee a persistent effect if the phobia is deep and running). But the phobias is not the only scope, reframing can be used in almost any situation. Its essence lies in the fact that everything has its positive aspects, only need to be able to see them and use them .

Reframing is traditionally divided into two main types: context reframing and content reframing. In the case of by reframing the context have in mind that in different situations one and the same event may be both beneficial and harmful. If we change the context ("but it could be worse"), we will change the attitude to the event. Reframing content  - this shift of semantic accents, in this case we change the attitude directly, changing not the context, but our own perception.

In NLP there is a more formal version of this technique -Chistiakova reframing. gradual process, consisting, as the name implies, of six sequential steps. But we will not go into such a jungle, and talk about five basic ways of reframing. you can use in everyday life.

Reframing the context. We change the perception of an object (event), comparing it with another. For example, you bought a phone - not the most "heaped up", but in general, not bad. And they met a friend Vasya, also with a new phone - steep and expensive. And your phone in comparison with it starts to seem bad to you. And if you meet a friend Petya with an old phone that only can call and send SMS, your phone will start to seem better to you. Of course, the example is rather rude, but the basic idea is clear: one should not think about what is better, but about what could be worse.

Showing the other side. We are used to thinking in many situations with stereotypes, which also determine our negative perceptions. But it is known that every medal has two sides. Practically in every situation, which seems negative, there is something positive. Let's say you have to get up early every morning to get to work on the subway, because you do not have a car. But at the same time you save on gasoline and do not get stuck in traffic jams.

Reframing with the use of the word "but". This method of reframing is the simplest: for every flaw you need to find dignity. For example, you were late for work, because you stayed in the passport office, but you solved all your affairs with documents, and you do not have to queue any more, get out of work and get nervous. But in this case it is better to avoid standard formulations: they usually seem unconvincing, because they use them too often, to the place and out of place.

Reframing with connotations. Almost every word has a connotation — emotional, evaluative component. It is the connotation of many different synonyms. One word connotation can be positive, and its synonym is negative. For example, the word "ass" may be associated with stupidity, stubbornness, and its synonym "ass" — a willingness to work hard. Reframing with connotations is that instead of words with negative connotations to use more positive wording. For example, the word "have" is replaced by "must" (see, the debt is not so depressing as hopelessness and coercion).

Reframing by the word "or". This technique is based on contrast. If we have to do something unpleasant, we need to find an even more unpleasant alternative for it. The hero of one of the books of Robert Asprin said: "Let's try this: you shake my hand or I'll rip your heart out." That's how reframing works in this case: from two evils we'll choose the smaller one and understand that in fact it's not such an evil.

Of course, reframing is not a panacea for all occasions. but in many situations it can be very, very useful.