Surely many of you know the statement: if you can not change the situation - change your attitude towards it. Of course, in the case of some global personal disasters, this approach may not save, but in many everyday situations it will help to save a lot of nerves. Such a technique is calledreframing.

Reframing is the term that came to us from NLP, it comes from the English verb to reframe.Frame is a frame, and to reframe - to put a picture or photo in a new frame. To better understand what reframing is, let's look at an example from a well-known series of books about Harry Potter.

In the third book, Professor Lupine taught the children to cope with the Boggart - a creature that embodied the most terrible fear of man. To overcome the boggart, it was necessary "to transform a monster into a laughing stock" - to present your fear in a ridiculous and inoffensive form. For example, one of the students presented a stern professor Snape in the outfit of his grandmother.That's how reframing works: seeing your fear in a different light, a person stops being afraid .

By the way, reframing is really used to combat various phobias (although it does not guarantee a lasting effect if the phobia is deep and neglected). But the fight against phobias is not the only sphere of application, reframing can be used in practically any life situation.Its essence lies in the fact that everything has its positive aspects, it is only necessary to be able to see and take advantage of them .

Reframing is traditionally divided into two main types: context reframing and content reframing. In case ofcontext reframing  it is meant that in different situations the same event can be both useful and harmful. If we change the context ("but it could be worse"), we will change the attitude to the event.Content Reframing  - this shift of semantic accents, in this case we change the attitude directly, changing not the context, but our own perception.

In NLP there is a more formal version of this technique -six-step reframing. Step-by-step process, consisting, as the name implies, of six consecutive steps. But we will not delve into such jungle, but we will talk aboutfive basic methods of reframing. which can be used in everyday life.

Reframing by context. We change the perception of an object (event), comparing it with another. For example, you bought a phone - not the most "heaped up", but in general, not bad. And they met a friend Vasya, also with a new phone - steep and expensive. And your phone in comparison with it starts to seem bad to you. And if you meet a friend Petya with an old phone that only can call and send SMS, your phone will start to seem better to you. Of course, the example is rather rude, but the basic idea is clear: one should not think about what is better, but about what could be worse.

Showing the other side. We are used to thinking in many situations with stereotypes, which also determine our negative perceptions. But it is known that every medal has two sides. Practically in every situation, which seems negative, there is something positive. Let's say you have to get up early every morning to get to work on the subway, because you do not have a car. But at the same time you save on gasoline and do not get stuck in traffic jams.

Reframing using the word "but". This method of reframing is the simplest: for every flaw you need to find dignity. For example, you were late for work, because you stayed in the passport office, but you solved all your affairs with documents, and you do not have to queue any more, get out of work and get nervous. But in this case it is better to avoid standard formulations: they usually seem unconvincing, because they use them too often, to the place and out of place.

Reframing with connotations. Virtually every word has a connotation - emotional coloring, an evaluation component. It is the connotation that distinguishes many synonyms. In one word, the connotation can be positive, and its synonym - negative. For example, the word "donkey" can be associated with stupidity, stubbornness, and its synonym "donkey" - willingly work hard. Reframing by means of connotations is to use more positive formulations instead of words with negative connotations. For example, the word "must" is replaced by "should" (you see, the debt is not so depressing as despair and coercion).

Reframing with the word "or". This technique is based on contrast. If we have to do something unpleasant, we need to find an even more unpleasant alternative for it. The hero of one of the books of Robert Asprin said: "Let's try this: you shake my hand or I'll rip your heart out." That's how reframing works in this case: from two evils we'll choose the smaller one and understand that in fact it's not such an evil.

Of course,reframing - not a panacea for all occasions. but in many situations it can be very, very useful.