How to keep the family together
In the final of the fairy tales we know that the hero and heroine "live happily ever after and died in one day." But, unfortunately, life is not always so magical: it happens that a once-happy marriage begins to crumble. How to keep the family together?
When a marriage begins to come apart at the seams it is very hard to come to terms with the idea that it's all over, and instead of "we" will now be a separate "I" and "he" ("she"). Even if in recent months (and even years) family life has been a burden, many people will still strive to keep the family. Why try to glue together what is in your eyes falling to pieces?
Usually trying to keep the family women, and the reasons for this are often not romantic, and the most that neither is a Mercantile character. If a woman earns less than her husband or does not earn at all, after the divorce, she will have to think about how to make a living. The prospect of being self-sufficient scares, and woman wants to keep the family together, not to be constrained in material terms .
And if the family has a child (children), one or both parents will seek to keep the family together for the kids. Here, of course, there is a material aspect - even with alimony and the help of a second parent to raise a child alone is more difficult. Well, the psychological side can not be forgotten: the divorce of parents is always a great stress for the child.
In both of these cases the desire to keep the family together is understandable, but will the game be worth the candle? Often, this preservation of the family only external: a couple live together, leading a common life, raising children together, but the feelings are long gone. And this is the best, and at worst — a life together filled with quarrels and conflict. Perhaps in this case, it is not about the preservation of the family, and convulsive clinging to apparent prosperity. A child contemplating cursing parents is unlikely to benefit.
So if you want to keep the family together, think: why you need it? If for the sake of material welfare and / or children, in many cases, the divorce will still be the best solution. Better to leave until you had finally fell out, remain friends and help each other from time to time than to maintain the illusion of family life and to hold on to that critical point when the accumulated negativity will explode. Delaying the inevitable gap will only make it more painful.
But if you want to keep the family together for the sake of those feelings that you have, if you really want to be with your spouse, you can try to return everything to normal. But note that in this case you will need a joint effort: for something that happens in relationships, both partners are responsible. When one of them tries to save the family, and the second seeks freedom from family life, nothing good will come of it.
If you are both tuned to the preservation of family relationships, first you need to sit down and talk. Families are not destroyed "rhyme or reason", even when the gap seems sudden, in fact it had been brewing gradually — just not always around and even the wife notice it. It is therefore important to discuss with a partner what you are not satisfied with family life. Try to speak calmly, without descending to recriminations and accusations .
When problems are defined, need to find ways of solving them. It is important to be prepared to compromise: don't expect that your requirements will be fulfilled and you and will not lift a finger. Something to give you, but something you give. And, of course, giving promises, you need to begin to fulfill them.
Try to leave disagreements in the past and to forgive partner: the crisis in relations is a kind of milestone, a turning point, after which begins a new phase. Instead of punishing each other for past mistakes in times of quarrels, make conclusions from them and not repeat old mistakes. Learn on your relationships to make them better.
Save the family is quite real, if you initially do it not for himself but for the two of you. you should be moved by the desire to maintain a harmonious relationship with a partner, and not fear of loneliness or material problems.