How to prevent war with mother-in-law: practical advice
A newly-bred wife may experience certain difficulties in communicating with her husband's relatives. The relationship between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law became the same popular theme for anecdotes, as well as the relationship between mother-in-law and son-in-law. You can not allow them to become bad, thereby destroying the light concept of the family. How to behave with the mother in law, what to say and what to do? Let's try to make some clarity.
How to build a relationship with your mother in law
Let's write down some simple to apply rules which will allow you to make relations with the mother-in-law as comfortable as possible. The first and most important rule is separation. Moreover, this rule is applicable to most relatives (even from their side). It's clear that this option is not available to everyone, but here you yourself need to make a choice - having accumulated through time your own housing, you may not want to move there together. In addition, it will weaken the influence of mother-in-law on her husband.
Second, show more respect. This woman is the mother of your loved one, who gives so many happy moments. If your mother-in-law is jealous of her son, then it's just from interrupted communication, lack of attention from an already quite grown-up child - your husband. Avoid disputes and quarrels, take advice as a source of wisdom, because they do not have to be done at home, but you can learn something new and useful in everyday life from them.
Third, do not forget about the signs of attention. Congratulations on your birthday (by phone and personally), with a professional holiday, gifts in the form of small souvenirs just like that, a short get-together over a cup of tea. Ask for advice on some minor issues, having previously shown knowledge in this area. In telephone conversations, share minor incidents of your family life or fait accompli, in which you and your husband did not need help.
If the mother-in-law interferes with family life, then this does not necessarily have to cause rejection, perhaps, so the mother tries to bring her former benefit to her son. Use this as one more rule. Need for a while to be a nanny to her grandchildren, to follow the apartment, to get a useful recipe for grits from back pains? The life experience of the mother-in-law and her desire to help should be applied to her own interests. Maybe this kind of help will make her happier and more in demand, which will increase her personal self-esteem and will not allow her to sink to empty reproaches and wrangling with her daughter-in-law.
It is worth noting that you need to adopt another rule: the mother-in-law is the main one. At least let him think so. Let him take care of his son. Praises a new sweater, saying a good taste, which instilled in her child? Of course, smile and keep silent, because it was you who chose him for your husband at the last sale and advised you to put them on a visit today.
Do not forget about its importance in these relations. Become an exemplary, caring and loving wife. If the mother-in-law will see her son with a smiling, contented life, beautifully dressed and with a good hairstyle, then she will not be able to show even a drop of displeasure in your direction. And the last rule on the list is not to attach importance to unreasonable reproaches. Perhaps this is a psychological problem. A person can realize that you are an excellent choice for her son, but do not show it for personal reasons.
You read the simple rules how to behave with your mother-in-law. It's walking on thin ice, and you need to show all your patience, resourcefulness, intelligence and love to build quality relationships with the mother of your spouse. Remember that you can quarrel with it at any time, and you will have to live with her son for the rest of your life.