How to avoid mistakes in upbringing
It is no secret that every mother wants the child to grow up obedient. Raising a child requires a lot of work, demanding from parents of time and patience. How to avoid mistakes in this difficult matter?
Do not talk and show the child that you do not care. From the point of view of some parents, this is a good way to teach the child independence and prepare him for adulthood. But, according to psychologists, this position is incorrect. The child will most likely become interested in whether the parents really care what he does. And he will check this well-known way to him - consciously performing obviously bad deeds. In such a situation it is better to explain to the child that in this particular situation, you do not agree with him, but at any moment are ready to come to the rescue, because you love him.
Don't need to promise your child that You will cease to love him for a misdemeanor. This is a very strong means of education, since all children are afraid that they will cease to love. However, you still can not fulfill this promise, and the child will quickly feel the deception. Next time he just will not believe you. Try in case of misconduct to explain to the child that you do not approve of his actions, but still love him.
No need to go to extremes: too pamper or keep in the exceptional rigor. When overly strict parenting when the need to do so, and not otherwise dictated by the only parental authority, the child is difficult to understand why it should do that. The child may be obedient at home, but away from their parents most likely will still do things my own way. So try to convince the child to do the right thing and not to push him. You can ask him to fulfill Your request now, and later in a relaxed atmosphere to explain why it was necessary.
When a child is allowed everything, his slightest whims are fulfilled, he grows up unsuited to a world where everything does not happen at his will. If you do not want such a future for your child, then try not to do everything for him, but only offer him your help.
Do not force to register your child for multiple clubs. How many parents would tolerate their unfulfilled childhood dreams on their children. They are willing to enroll their kids and ballet and music lessons, and karate lessons only because they themselves in childhood wanted to, but never had the opportunity. Try to listen to your child. If You see that Your child simply cannot cope with the load, it may be better to let him play in the yard with the kids. After all, childhood is very very short time!
Do not write off the shortcomings of education for lack of money and time. No matter how trite it sounded, but you can not buy love for money. Parents, especially those who in the childhood themselves suffered because of a material disorder in the family, believe that their children will buy anything they want. Or, which often happens, parents buy children more and more new toys, as if apologizing for the lack of time. But often such children and the toy is not in joy, but just really want to be together with mom and dad - it's always the most expensive people for him.
We should not succumb to bad mood. It often happens that parents scold and "saw" the child not for his misdeeds, but simply because they have a bad mood. Any troubles at work or in the relationships of parents should not affect the child. It happens that parents, when they are outraged by the child, then feel guilty and smooth their guilt with toys and gifts, allow the child to do what is usually forbidden. Of course, the existing character can not be altered, but it is possible to "set all the points above and" in advance and explain to the child that, despite your mood, you love him the same way, but that does not mean that you will allow him pranks.
Of course, the process of education of each individual child. It is important to remember that the main thing for a child is Your attention, care, affection and love. Then it will be easier to achieve success in raising your child!