The participation of grandparents in the upbringing of the child
Older people who wear the proud title of grandparents, I always try to actively participate in the educational process of a beloved grandson or granddaughter. That is grandparents with love to coddle kids, indulge their whims, or, on the contrary, I believe that the child should be kept in the "iron fist". Whether the grandparents participate in raising the child? How to find a compromise?
Differentparents differ in build communication of their children with their grandparents. Some, especially if the family lives together with the older generation in one house, leave the children in the care of the grandmother permanently. Others bring grandchildren to their grandmothers on weekends or on holidays. And some parents arrange visits to grandmothers and grandchildren only on major holidays. But in any case, the grandmother considers her right and duty to somehow help a young family in raising a child.
There are several, so to speak, of types of grandmothers. "Normal" grandmothers mainly take care of the child to eat on time, take a walk, and buy. They are not inclined to interfere in the educational process. Such grandmothers can pamper your grandson with sweets, toys.
Grandmother "active" almost completely immersed in the upbringing of the baby. They walk with the child, help him to do homework, attend exhibitions or theaters with the child. Such grandmothers feel very well when the grandson needs support and render it.
"Suspended" and clean "symbolic" grandmothers are practically not involved in the upbringing of the child. These grandmothers meet their grandchildren several times a year.
Whichever of these categories are not treated the grandmother of Your child, it is always better to agree in advance on how to raise Your kid in order to avoid conflict situations.
For example,agree. how and how to feed the child, when to allow him to walk, what TV shows to allow the child to watch. If you feel that the grandmother or grandfather, despite all your contracts, is going to do it in your own way, you need to reasonably explain your position and listen carefully to the version of the grandparents. Perhaps their life experience and wisdom will in some cases prove to be very useful.
By the way, if some of the questions You grandmothers/grandfathers do not agree, then to explain this need and the child. For example, if you allow the child to walk barefoot at home and the grandmother forbids, then tell the child that the grandmother at home has a colder floor and therefore she is very upset, no matter how her grandson gets sick.
In any case do not swear with the grandparents at the child. And do not complain about them when kid. All this will prevent the normal development of the relationship of the grandparents and the child.
It so happens that the grandparents from "different sides" is not quite friendly with each other. In this case, some grandma and grandpa love to "win" child "on their side". They can respond when child is ill of other grandma and grandpa. To avoid this, give clear message to both sides that Your child is not a means for their "showdown". Strictly forbid such a statement when the baby.
Many grandparents with such zeal take to spoil a child just because afraid of losing his love. They give the child candies and chocolates, if only the kid is always happy to meet. You can find a compromise. For example, let the grandmother treat the grandson with apple or home-made juice instead of regular chocolates. Let instead of the cartoon will bring as a gift some development game.
The older generation are the keepers of traditions. And although not always grandparents understand that much has changed since their youth, they can sometimes give very valuable advice. Therefore, no matter what, grandparents in the upbringing of the child should take part. But the degree of this participation you will have to determine personally for yourself.