Sometimes can't get what you want. For us adults, it is quite normal and acceptable. But for a child the inability to get this or that thing becomes a real tragedy. Parent categorical "no" causing the child resentment and anger. How to deny a child?

For a small child the word "no" is associated with the concept of "never". Saying "no" to the child, how would You tell him it's "no" forever. Try to build the phrase a little differently. For example, replace the word "no" with "maybe", "probably", "maybe" and You'll give the child hope for the situation to change for the better.

When You deny a child anything, show compassion and support. The child will then understand that You refuse him not because do not love.

Quite yet the kids that don't even know how to read and count, do not understand Your argument about expensive new toys. For them the concept of "cheap" and "expensive" doesn't mean anything. Try to come up with more child-friendly arguments.

If the child asks to buy a toy while You shop, then you can try to switch his attention. For example, if the child requires one-tenth of the expense of a machine or a doll, try offering him something else. Or pay his attention on those toys that he already has.

A popular tool to achieve your child is hysterical. He shamelessly will arrange it to You in a public place: the transport and shops. Don't go on about tantrums ever! Next time “the concert” will be even louder and longer, until the baby doesn't get her way. If Your child is screaming in the store, then calmly explain to him that if will continue the bad behavior, You generally leave the shop without buying. And his word keep. The child should be sure that You don't just bullying him, but really will do as told. Then the desire to check on your “strength” he will not arise.

If the child demands a new toy, but the price of “bite”, try to explain that You did not afford. Tell your child that in order to buy such a toy mom and dad have a very long run to save up for a toy, and thus not eating and not drinking. Ask if it agrees to make such sacrifices? You can also explain to the child that this toy costs as much as all of his toys put together. Offer the kid to collect all his toys and give them in exchange for the required. Explain that instead of all the toys he will get just one!

In some cases buying an expensive toy is acceptable. for example, as a gift for the New year or the birthday of the baby. In these cases, tell your child that You do not deny his purchase, and just a little aside.

If the child asks to buy him a brand unnecessary (from Your point of view) toy, which he will throw in a couple of days, it will also help switching. Remember with the child that he already has a similar toy. Tell us how lonely and boring toy that no one plays.

The ability to refuse is difficult. It is always easier from the position of the adult to say “No and that's it!”, what a long time to explain the reasons for the refusal. But Your patience, love and understanding will help You cope with this challenging problem!

Based on the book B. Bach "Your kid's personality. Practical tips for parents", publisher: AST-"Stalker", 2008