How to tell
All of us sometimes can not get what we want. For us, adults, this is quite normal and acceptable. But for the child, the inability to obtain this or that thing becomes a real tragedy. The categorical parental "no" causes the child to feel resentment and anger.How to deny a child?
For a small child the word "no" is associated with the concept of "never". Saying "no" to the child, you as if tell him that it is "no" - forever. Try to line up the phrase a little differently. For example, replace the word "no" with the words "possible", "probably", "maybe" and you leave the child with the hope of changing the situation for the better.
When You deny a child anything, show compassion and support. Then the child will understand that you are refusing to him not because you do not love.
Quite yet the kids that don't even know how to read and count, do not understand Your argument about the high cost of a new toy. For them, the concepts of "cheap" and "expensive" do not mean anything. Try to come up with more understandable child arguments.
If the child asks to buy a toy while You shop, then you can try to shift his attention. For example, if the child requires one-tenth of the expense of a machine or a doll, try offering him something else. Or pay his attention on those toys that he already has.
A popular tool to achieve your child is hysterical. He will not hesitate to arrange it in a public place: transport, a store. Do not go on about the hysterical never! Next time the "concert" will be even louder and more prolonged, until the kid gets his way. If your child cried out in the store, then calmly explain to him that if from continuing bad behavior, you generally leave the store without shopping. And keep your word. The child should make sure that you do not just intimidate him, but really do as you were told. Then the desire to check you for "strength" he will not arise.
If a child requires a new toy, but its price "bites", try to explain that you can not afford a toy. Tell the child that in order to buy such a toy, the father and mother will have to work very long to accumulate on a toy, and at the same time not to eat or drink. Ask,if it agrees to make such sacrifices? You can also explain to the child that this toy costs as much as all of his toys put together. Offer the kid to collect all his toys and give them in exchange for the required. Explain that instead of all the toys he will get just one!
In some cases buying an expensive toy is acceptable. for example, as a gift for the New year or the birthday of the baby. In these cases, tell your child that You do not deny his purchase, and just a little aside.
If the child asks to buy him absolutelyunnecessary (from your point of view) a toy that he will abandon in a couple of days, then attention switching will also help here. Remember together with the child that he already has a similar toy. Tell us how lonely and boring is the toy, which no one is playing.
The ability to refuse correctly is given with difficulty. It's always easier to say "No, that's it!" From the position of an adult, than to explain the reason for refusing the child for a long time. But your patience, love and understanding will help you cope with this difficult problem!
Based on the book B. Bach "Your kid's personality. Practical tips for parents", publisher: AST-"Stalker", 2008