To beat or not to beat
The problem of physical punishment of children divided the parents into opponents and defenders of this measure of punishment.To beat or not to beat the child?
How it is possible to bring up the child in a different way, many parents often simply do not represent. His childhood memories, the authoritative grumbling of grandmothers that the strap of the child has been weeping about the child's forehead for a long time - all this makes not even the faith in young parents, but the conviction that it is not only possible to beat a child, but it is also necessary.
In fact, the truth is simple – violence begets violence. If a child is beaten in the name of upbringing and obedience, then parents can be sure that the child will learn very quickly - whoever is stronger, is right. Is this what they want to impress him with a belt? Any person to strike most likely will want to respond with a blow. A small child realizes that he will not be able to inflict the same physical blow to his parents, but he will beautifully strike back at the nerves of his parents. There are a lot of examples when children were beaten for some kind of "dirty trick", but they persistently continued to do this "dirty trick" - in defiance of parents.
Here, by the way, the supporters of physical punishment brought another "formula". strap brings a child's strong personality. But is it? Education physical force turns the child in a frightened, nervous person, and not a complete person!
Supporters of child rearing with the use of physical punishment believe that fear of the child before the pain of physical punishment is very quickly teach him what is and what is not. For example, if a child bites or fights, the parents believe that a strike or bite in response will show the child that others, too, is painful.
But whether physical punishment to teach a child "what is good and what is bad"? Paradoxically, but no! Under 2 years a child may not understand, for what punished him. A simple example. If you ask adult friends or work colleagues, were punished if their child physically, then surely most would answer in the affirmative. And if you ask them what exactly they were beaten? Exactly, no one will remember, except that the case was out of the ordinary. So can you talk about the educational nature of this penalty, if remembered only the pain and hurt. but not "reasonable, kind, eternal", which parents tried to inspire in this way?
Although the education belt declined for most parents, but a slap on the ass many do not consider physical punishment in principle, and most often spank the baby in a fit of anger and irritation. Then they even feel ashamed. But for one child, a slap does not represent anything particularly terrible, but for another it is a real tragedy.
How can you raise a child without using physical punishment? Unfortunately, a great number of parents is unknown. And they continue to spank children on the butt or to give blows and cuffs simply because there is no other way. Meanwhile, education without physical punishment possible.
A child is beaten because you are afraid that he will not know the rules and boundaries will grow up selfish and a "parasite". But other ways of punishment allow to set for a child frame. for which he will not go out. The child rolled the tantrum in the supermarket? The way out is: calmly warn the child that if he does not stop, the store will have to leave. And in case of disobedience - a threat to fulfill. To deprive the child of pleasures and rewards for offenses is a more "humane" and effective way than physical punishment. In addition, it will be good if the child from early childhood accustom to accountability for their actions. If he hit his mother, then let him know that after that she will stop communicating with him. If you do not eat a bowl of soup for lunch, let him be sure that he will not get anything before dinner.
When a child his antics brought parents to the "white heat", it is difficult to resist in order to slap a naughty child, as they say, from the heart. Count in mind to ten, to switch their attention to something else, to leave the room or withdraw into another room the child may help the parent to restrain the first impulse of anger and a more sober look at the situation. When the cause of the child's misconduct is clarified. it is much easier for parents to think about their future behavior and choose the appropriate punishment.