The problem children's fears sooner or later catches up with almost all parents. In most cases children's fears is a completely normal stage of development of each child. But in some situations, children's fears may indicate any psychological problem of the child. How to help your child?
In each specific age, the child to experience natural, age-related fears. In the first months of life, all the child's fears are directly related to his physical comfort. The baby is afraid of losing his mother because he is completely dependent on her. So, the disappearance of the mother from the sight of the child even for a few minutes is perceived by the child as the greatest tragedy - after all, the kid does not know how to keep track of time.
To eight months the baby may appear the fear of strangers. Most often, this is not because these people are so terrible, they are simply not "Mom". As a rule, starting from fourteen months, the child's fear of unfamiliar people gradually passes.
At the age of three years before the child gradually begins to get full custody of his mother – now he is learning independence. And the knowledge of this new world for him brings his childish fears. It is noteworthy that often the source of these fears are adults themselves.
Sharp remarks such as "You can not! You'll fall! "Or" Do not bother! It will be painful! "Parents do exclusively with good intentions, but by carelessness can similarly cause fears in the child. The kid will begin to fear not only falls, but also punishment from parents.
In turn parental threats to abandon the child, give it to strangers or left in the dark almost directly lead to children's fears. fear of loneliness, fear of strangers, fear of darkness. Speculating on the fears of the child, the parents want to achieve obedience, but they do great damage to the tender psyche of the baby.
Different "horror stories" about Baba Yaga, Koshcheev, the Bogeyman are also sources of children's fears. At the age of 2-3 years, the child actively develops his imagination, but the kid does not know how to separate his fantasies from reality. For him, all the fairy-tale characters he heard about from Mom and Dad are real.
Grow up kid grow up and his fears. At the age of 6-7 years the child is already aware of your mortality, and, quite naturally, begins to fear his death and the death of loved ones. This childish fear can be manifested in nightmares, where a child is eaten by a beast or Baba Yaga. In no small degree contribute to the development of such fears and age, cruel films, cartoons, where there is violence and death.
Thus, most children's fears are well founded because they are based on the natural needs of the child to be safe. Besides, the so-called healthy fear is very useful – it protects the child from the desire to "get into trouble". He will not come back to play with matches, if he thinks it's hot and won't carry the dog by the tail, knowing that she might bite.
But there are fears obsession phobia. Such childhood fears cause the child to experience extreme stress at the slightest hint of fear. Strong fear can cause nerve tics, stuttering, enuresis. In the future, a certain phobia can accompany the child for the rest of his life, causing him psychological discomfort.
If you do not deal with children's fears, their consequences may influence further development of the child's personality. But struggle must be carried out correctly. First of all, we should try to find out the cause of fear. And not always it is obvious and "lies on the surface".
For example, one day a child could be frightened of a loud barking of a dog and now is afraid of all similar or even very similar sounds, for example, the sound of thunder. And if once a child has been given a painful injection, he begins to be afraid of any person in a white coat, especially if he looks like a "tormentor" with the color of hair or hair.
So to identify the true causes of child fear help sessions with a psychologist. Already with a child of two to three years of age, such exercises are quite effective.
The next step is ensuring the child a sense of security. For a small child mom and dad – the Almighty, hence he is looking for protection and comfort. In any case it is impossible to make fun of a child's fear, to blame for it. This can only aggravate the situation.
Also it is impossible to use the "wedge-shaped" method to combat childish fears and to leave the baby, for example, in a closed dark room! This entails a further exacerbation of fear!
If the child is afraid of the dark, it is better to turn on the light and show him - there is no one. Then gradually it is necessary to accustom the child to darkness. For example, you can get a "magic" toy defender, a "magic" flashlight or a lamp.
Parents should make it clear to the child that whatever happened, they're close and always ready to help. It is not necessary to persuade the child not to be afraid, but you can let him cuddle up to my mother's knee or put a hand on the child's head, "covering" it. Physical contact with mother and father will allow the child to feel safe.