The crisis of three years
A crisis is an essential step in the development and maturity of the child, a kind of transition to a new level. In three years the child begins to recognize himself as a person according to his behavior changes. Often the crisis of three years is for parents an unpleasant surprise.
The crisis of three years. Signs
How to determine that your child has the crisis began three years? Psychologists believe that the crisis of three years in children characterized by the seven basic characteristics. They were first identified and named by the well-known psychologist L.S. Vygotsky.
The first sign – negativism. The child always tries to contradict adults in everything. This is not just obedience: a three-year-old child can act even against himself, just to annoy parents. As they say, "I'll freeze my ears for spite". When the crisis of three years, child negativity sometimes comes to ridiculous - the child denies the obvious things, calling the cat a dog.
The next symptom of the crisis of three years – stubbornness. The child will stand on his own until the last, ignoring the needs and desires of other people. The child is not stubborn because he really wants something, but simply for the sake of over-reinforcing the adults. Sometimes the stubbornness of a child can turn into childish tantrums. and often in crowded places.
The crisis of three years in children is also seen in the recalcitrants. The child rebels against the usual rules and norms. He can refuse to wash and brush his teeth, ignores the demands of adults. This protest is not against specific people, but against the way of life and the system as a whole.
The symptoms of crisis of three years referred self. In three years, the pronoun "I" appears in the child's speech. He tries to do everything himself and only himself, without the help of adults, even if it is beyond his power. In order to persuade parents to allow him to do something alone, he can use any methods.
The crisis of three years is sure to accompany protest. The child constantly tries to fight with someone, both with others and with himself. Conflicts with adults are inevitable and become more frequent.
Typical of the crisis of three years is depreciation in the first place – the depreciation of parental authority and customary ways of life. A child may tease the parents call and bitch at them. He loses interest in old toys, breaks and throws them. Previously expensive and favorite things and people now cause hostility and rejection.
The latest sign of the crisis of three years – despotism. The child is trying to get others to dance under his tune, to subordinate everything to himself. If a child in the family is alone and used to indulging him, despotism manifests itself particularly vividly. If a child has younger brothers or sisters, despotism can manifest as jealousy.
The crisis of three years. How to survive?
The crisis of three years in children is inevitable, so parents should be prepared for it. How to behave with a little despot? First and foremost, in advance encourage your child to solid daily routine. We mentioned above that the crisis of three years is characterized by the desire to destroy the foundations, and the harder they are, the worse it will be for the child. However, do not put too much pressure on him.
Every family has its own prohibitions. Keep words were supported by action. If you banned something from a child, you do not need to make exceptions: he will see that bans can be violated at will, and the negative manifestations of the crisis of three years will worsen. But do not set unnecessary prohibitions simply to accustom the child to discipline - nothing good will come of it.
During the crisis three years, the child will become more independent. Don't blame him for it. Of course, for serious misconduct must be punished, but no need to prevent any manifestations of independence.
Do not try to avoid conflict, it's still impossible. Indulging the child, you thereby claim its superiority, and capricious behavior can gain a foothold and stay with him and after the crisis. Learn to say no when it's really necessary this will help to avoid many problems in the future. If the child is naughty, especially in a public place do not shout the answer. First, you won't be able to reach him while he is screaming or crying. Secondly, the purpose of his tantrums – get your attention. Without an audience, the child quickly calms down, and you will be able to talk quietly. Keeping calm and ignoring the tantrum, you will expedite its completion. Of course, if you are in a public place, first take out the child, not to annoy people and not to create a reputation as an indifferent mother.
During the crisis of three years it is importantto observe Golden mean. Excessive authoritarianism is just as bad as excessive softness and pliability. Get used to the fact that your child began to realize himself as a person. Encourage self-expression, try to find a common language with him in solving problems, provide him with alternative options, if possible.
Do not take the crisis three years as something terrible. This is a natural stage of child development, which sooner or later will be held. During this period the child needs your support, love and care. It will certainly convey your positive attitude, and together you can overcome this difficult time.