System of praise and punishment practiced in the education of all children, but the problem is that parents don't always correctly know how to apply it. Therefore, the behavior of children more often you may notice more negative than positive. And not everyone understands that encouraging kids gives better results than punishment.
All parents used that the promotion and punishment of children must depend on how the child behaves. Any misconduct should be punished, and for any achievements there will be praise. But parents often do not notice or do not pay attention to the smallest children's achievements, taking them for granted. Their parental attention they concentrate only on bad deeds, for which it is necessary to punish. And then the parents complain that their child is behaving badly, and there is nothing to encourage.
But really encouraging kids can be much more effective than punishment. Encourage the child to be right. Indeed, not every encouragement in the family can be considered correct from the point of view of the upbringing process. So, parents often use redemption - they give the child sweets or money for the work done or good grades. What you do not encourage? But this approach to encouraging children is wrong. Parents create a situation in which the child learns not to see his achievements, but to get something valuable for them. Such mercantile relations lead to the fact that the child can hate physical or mental labor, because for him in the literal sense of the word pay.
Not all parents realize that the bad behavior of their children is directly related to what focus adult. If parents pay more attention to bad behavior, then children will continue to behave in the same way. If we focus on good behavior, then encouraging children will bring excellent results. The main thing is to choose the right words for praise and encouragement.
Think about ways to encourage children you use? Some may answer that it is some kind of reward for good behavior (candy or money). For others, the promotion of children is exempt from certain duties, for example, to wash the dishes today or clean my room. But such encouragement to children is fundamentally wrong. Adults, without realizing it, initially, wrong attitude towards children. Children should not be constantly pampered and be rewarded for their achievements .
To startrevise your statements in the face of a child. when you see what he did. All utterances with a negative context, lead to the fact that the child will continue their actions, which bring bad results. For example, "again you do not get your toy" will tell you, next time you see a mess in the room. But when the child finally got your toys, you won't notice and will think that his actions should be taken for granted. But a simple phrase "well done, how do you clean the room!" would have been enough to encourage a child to execute the desired action next time.
Encouraging children to develop in a particular system. Write a list of things your child should do every day. In the evening, place an asterisk opposite each item. For the work done, there should always be praise. But to that which remained unfulfilled, it is necessary to treat indifferently. For the performance of all duties should be the promotion of the child. It can be a hike in a circus or a zoo. Let your child see how he achieves some success.
Encouraging kids also can be done in a different form. If your child refuses to do something, do not yell at him. Replace negative expression positive, but with the deal "if". For example, do not say, "You again do not want to brush your teeth." Replace this expression with this: "If you now quickly brush your teeth, we will have time to read two fairy tales instead of one." As you can see, you do not punish the child, but simply correct his behavior as you need it.
Note that the promotion of children may also depend on their personal qualities. So, there is children who are unable to achieve targets independently. They always need to be someone in charge. Any own achievements should be encouraged that the child was able to believe in themselves.
There is one the type of kids who try to do the work very carefully. They overestimate their capabilities and take on any task with such scrupulousness that they often throw all their affairs halfway, without having fulfilled them, because they can not distinguish between the main and the secondary. In this case, the promotion of children should not occur for the final result, but throughout the process of doing the work, to give them a sense of self-confidence.
Children who succeed without any problems, should be encouraged very carefully. The fact is that in this case, encouraging children can do more harm than good. Such a child can become overconfident. In addition, he can discount the achievements of other children, thus placing himself above others. To praise such a child should not be for all the merits, but only for those that were given to him really with difficulty or for the help that he rendered to other children. Only in this case the promotion of the child will be effective.